theres someone i miss... no prizes for guesses... but this feeling sucksssss. k i tell u a secret.. idk who im missing too!! HAHAHA! but i am missing someone!


tell u something dam stupid.. i got step by B jus nw. jack in the face man!! omg i felt like killing him!!! wat an asssss seriously!! pffftttt
I still smile each time I pass by there, I stretch out my hend hoping you may coincidentally walk to the gate. But that never happens only my wishful thinking....


Baby are you down down down down?
You'll be my only one even if the sky is falling down.

nite nite poooosss! tuition in the fking morning... bugis with ah mit.. town with sharky boy n kidzzz!! LOVEEESSS(:

today is a good good day!!!!

cause.....
i found what door boy gave me(: heeeehhdiscovered an awesome drink on my way back from skool. k a bit slow but still! =Dcame home after my exam n saw 1 of my big big packages!!! wheeehaaaa(: HAPPY LIKE DUNNO WADDD!see the excitement!!! OMG

anyways geog paper was a breeze cause I STUDIED!! UHHUH!! i kinda gave up at the last question. like i had enough of bullshitting to make my ans look longer. HAHAHA! oh wells.. i noe im gonna do well(: thxs to all my babies who hav been encouraging me these few days!!! wheeehaaa(:

im all pumped for my bday!!! idk wat im doing yet but but im all pumped cause of my outfit!! yes people ive picked out wat im wearing already!! teeheeewheeeeee :D im soooo superly stokkkeedd to da maxxx i tell u!!! jus because of my outfit!! HAHA nt because of my plan but but yeaa! oh wait i noe wat im doing!! lols lunch with sharky boy n kidddd!!! then dinner with some others n then idk already!!! its gonna be an impromptu day i guess!! =D but im sooo eggciitteedd already!!! my outfit!! heee k nw to lose weight cause if u noe wat im wearing.. u will be like DAM LOSE WEIGHT WOMAN!!! lolsss

paps jus came in n told me hes gonna be away for my bday!! pooo :( but hes heading to germany n i hope he brings me back something good!!!!

tmr is a day out with ah mit cause he jus gt back!!! =D camwhoressssss!! then then town with the sharkys in the evening!! YEAAAHHH!

waiting for sharky boy to get her ass home to hav some webcam maddnesss! K BYE!

im still awake when im fking tired!! fk my body clock!!!i said goodnite to everyone.. climbed into bed n then tossed n turn for 45mins!!? then decided to go chill at the couch n my tummy started rumbling so i went to snack. mumsie had the same mind as me cause we snacked together!! haha..

came back to my room n then i went into bed again.. then suddenly 'she aint got shit on me' started playing cause my fone rang. n guess guess guess who called!! heh(: like super cute onli!!

im flipping through my geog notes n studying them. HAHA

oh oh u noe wat i realised!!? my cupboard is overflowing but yet i havnt completed my shopping list yet!! UH-OH!! either i need a bigger closet or i throw some clothes out. i think a bigger closet sounds gooooddd! =D

am anticipating my 2 packages from HH n BC!! wheeehaaa(: ive got a blazer, knitted top, toga dress, halter dress, off-shoulder top n a knitted long sleeve dress coming in!! realli dam happpyy!! retail therapy is aweeesommeeee! ((:

ive gt too many clothes n some newly bought ones i havnt even worn them!!! i need help on wat to wear this sat!!! k a feminine look or a spunky look!!? HEELPPP!! 911 yo!!!

ps.. ive already decided wat to wear for my bday!! heh am megaa stokkkeeddd!

pss.. me n my sister share clothes!! sharing expenses on clothes!! heh(: tts the awesomest partttt!!

more on my shopping list:

-acid washed jeans

-cropped tops

-DMs!!!

-bag

-shorts

-translucent like stockings

-lanyard

gonna get my DMs, bag, cropped tops, shorts n lanyard on fri!!! kk im gonna count sheeps nw!!! BYE

exam tmr!!! ready or not!!!??
my answer is NOOOOOTTTT! UH OH!webcam madness with monkey twin!! yes i found another twin!! HAHAHA =D

3rd oct at Rendezvous@supperclub!!! helping a freennn

k another event!!

15th oct at 7 deadly sins@se7en!! newly opened club like a few weeks ago!!! jus after N levels!! so if u need tickets.. yes yes CONTACT ME!!!! =D pls add me on my fb if u can find me!! HAAAA

off to study nw!!! BYEEEE

edit

everyone go http://clothesinabag.livejournal.com/ my sharky kidz's blogshop!! n i helped her with the nameee!! wheeeehaaa(:

friday nite i was suppose to go to 3 places. well i had a choice of 3 places rather:

1. triple D with B n damien along with jollin too
2. zirca/supperclub with kerry, karz, jas n crew
3. intoxication.. hse party which i was invited by zack to go to. its a MASSIVE hse party with gallions of booze, wasted people n i presume ALOT of puke

well words out... police raid during ths massive hse party so im thankful ive got the will power to say NO to hse parties.

yep yep!! im AWEEESSOME like this!! LOL NOOOOTTT

i miss door boy :( k hes not realli door boy since hes stationed at the dance floor today. lols hes so funniiiii!

saturday
-headed down to town to do my hair at shunji!! changed my nemo hair colour to a dark brown almost black(: realli like it nwwww! oh oh n i cut it!! UHHUH! ahlian bff said it looked good!!
-bumped around cine with lendl, monkey, yvonne n some others. fun fun shittss cause we laughed alot n some random guy came up to do street magic for us. it was darn awesome i tell u!

people: bryan, crystal, ange-gay, amanda, pearl(bday girl), michele, valerie, B, damien, zhiguo, kerwin, zenith, sebas, samuel n a whole lotttt of others!!!
-got calls.. so i left for cq!!! k my heart was racing.. adrenalin pumping. partly cause i was dam excited seeing old frens after agggessss but also whether thing would be there
-so i had some problems.. but nvm... bryan came to the rescue! its even more awesome cause i noe some people now too!! wheeehaaaa(: tts the awesome bit of creating a mini comfort zone at the door of rebel!!
-yes i created a comfort zone at rebel cause it got so darn friggin crowded around 1ish 2??! i got scared so the bouncer made a lil space for me. HAHAHA awesome shitttsss
-triple D to da maaxxxx!!! fun fun fun atttaacckkkk! like KICK ONLI!!!
-music was kinda dull but company was AWESOME TO DA MAX!!!
-got dam pissed n upset 1/2 way but thankfully i wasnt affected by it for long. secret weapon u seeee! its called a tid for a tad!!! UHHUH!
-i kept bumping into bryan but nv realli danced at all since i kept floating around. LOLS
-oh oh bumped into crystal dearest bt didnt get to dance with her!!! super pack to daa maxxxx!

-when the nite ended.. i went back to my comfort zone at the door there n met a new fren((: heh so so super cuttteeee! heh =D
-big bro who looks out for me everytime im at cq sent me home(:



HAPPY BIRTHDAY PEARL BABY!!! yeps i had a darn friggin awwwessomeeee SHITs NITE!!! nw its back down to studying!! OMG KILL ME!!

heh cutie at the door texted((: but hes working tonite again n darn wish i was outside and not at home. pfffttt..

more pics soon cause theres ALOOOOT!

this sad sad sadistic child

thursday
-stuck at home alll day. being a lazy bum i refuse to study
-sadly i lost all motivation to study n exams havnt even started yet! im counting on my previous tests n presentations to save me seriously
-thankfully SS came to my rescue last nite!! at 11ish he popped by n it was AMSTERDAM KICCKKK!!
-usual hangout spot!! realli loving tt spot so much more. memoriesssss both good n bad, old n new. but yet its soooo comfy too!! k besides the stupid mozzies biting blood O n AB kids. SAD SAD

friday
-got up n gave tuition a miss
-then once ethel twin got up, i got ready n got my ass down to town n met her with amelia(:
-its like liberation i tell u!! finally after stuck facing 4 walls for 5 days. MY GOODNESS!
-fep to get twin's alteration n all.. bumped around town. we 3 went on a mooncake tasting hunt n yes i FINALLY found my SOURSOP MOONCAKE!! YUMYUM!
-cine to slack n some STALKER was stalking me!! lols like funni onli tt boy!!
-met up with gabriel leng n leslie to catch up n chillout for a while. then then stupid MR ONG called me n pretend pretend like i called him. pfftt k TMR
-met up with alvin n jollin at ps. omg its been such a looonnggg time!
-trained home

yes people im home. be amazedddd!! its a fking friday nite n im home. my party animals are at butter n im home in my pjs blogging. decided to give butter a miss since im soooo poofed out as u can see from the hideous eyebags!! plus i dun feel so good either.. like emotionally. seriously i wonder how can someone make me sooo depressed n upset n like i feel my morals being pulled down to the ends of this earth. WHY WHY TELL ME WHY!!?

on a brighter side.. im FINALLY gonna do my hair tmr. getting rid of my faded off hideous nemo hair colour n maybe an exotic cut!! im leaving it to the stylist to do watever he/she wants!! HAHAH! daring yess! but i cant wait!! plus gonna see B n crew after aggesss too! so im quite stoked

for now im mentally n physically dam drain. im gonna sleep soon. hopefully i can sleep away my depressed mode. n hopefully i bump into thing thing tmr! im leaving it to the hands of fate!! UHHUH cheeesssyyyy shits but watever!

why must the good times always come to an end so fast? and this time why is that I got hurt and now I feel so alone... sighhh

you know even david guetta's sexy bitch cant make me high!! fuck this is how depressed and upset i am!!

in this party scene..
u noe wat i realise.. i make frens dam easily n when i really can connect and click with u.. i become inseparable with u. n funni thing we would start having the same lives like same situations n same shitty problems. this hot chick is jus so hot i hate standing next to her!! poo u!! lols.. but i love u loads sweets n dun worry we both will get over himsssss alrighttyyy!! lols

k so anyways i suddenly lost all my mood to study n exams are in 4 days. idk wats up with me but i jus wanna go pass out n nt wake up till sunday.

i browsed back a few pictures of tt nite jus then.. suddenly i felt so sick in my stomach.. its like a stab in my gut.. im realli gonna spew any minute. n i jus had some yummilicious mooncake okaayy!! seriously... its like a part of me got ripped out.

i jus havnt been feeling myself for a while n i cant seem to noe y. like a wave of loneliness is hitting me so hard. i jus wanna hide under my covers n hug all my toys cause they seem to be the onli frens ive got now. k im exagerrating but i do feel like this.

no doubt there are lil buggers out there trying to enter my life but sorri... its nt u i want... n for some reason, everyone thinks im leading such an awesome life. well u noe wad!!? tts jus superficial n on the surface. deep beneath me... the ugly truth surfaces. n it aint tt awesome seriously.

k i realli feel so sick in my stomach.

sometimes i realli wish i can holla at you and you will come running to hug me. sadly only this happens in my dreams.

after 4 days... MISS U TWIN!!!

talking to twin online nw. like funni onli we both!! FOS!! HAHAHAH! wat to do twins wadd! so both a bit crazy! suppose to go out later in the arvo but tt ass decided to stay home n study!! POOPER!! still love her loads((: because she said shes gonna take me bungee jumping in NZ when im older!! wheeehaaa! OK DEAL!

kk sharing secret shits nw. BYEEE! yes im still awake(: wheeehaaaaa. oh oh she jus said i look like a mermaid. wth laaaa CUTE!

yy do randoms like to add people they dont even noe on fb!? i think its jus pretty.. ODD!!?

anyways im sneezing. ahhhh-chooo! stupid nose allergies

im going crazy veri soon!! stuck at home for 4 fking days. k my longest record everrr! not including my hospital stay but yeaaa! im dying!! im gg crazyy!! HELP!! someone pls pls ask me out this weekend!! retail therapy!!! drinking!! dinner!! watever la! or jus plain slacking i dun mind!!! i jus had enough of being stuck staring at these 4 walls!!

k goodnite sweetlets!!!

guess who decided to jump on my bed n snuggle with me at 2am last nite???!!

realli the best company i can ever get at the wee hrs of the nite. my precious baby(:

ive been stuck at home for 3 days already. honestly im dying of boredom n im abt to pull my hair out jus to entertain myself. ive nv been home this long ever since i got back in june!! hahaha. i just aint a home bound freak like SOME PEOPLE (yes yes we ALL noe who the SOME PEOPLE are rite donna n ethel twin!!) lols.

anywhos.. i nEED weekend plans!!! jus to self reward myself for being so good locking myself up at home n parading round my monkey n pig boxers for the past 3 days.

on the side note to all this... im getting kinda freaked out by some people. YES some people againnn!!! i realli cannot stand being "monitored" when u hardly noe me!!? like excuse me.

k nvm someone jus texted me!! heeehawww(: happy happy! 1 of my 3 fav boys(: u noe i love waking up to see my fone flooded with many msges. but when i open the inbox, my happiness bubble jus pops!! go figure!! LOLS. unless its from my 3 fav boys then it totally changes but yeaa! jus tt 1 nv texts. pfft.. POOPER!!

oh oh im sooo stoked for next yr july/aug cause COLIN is COMING BACK!! omg finally after 4 yrsss!!? WHEEE oh oh but the

k la this is my mini distraction. i swear im gonna go buy LED flashing lights from sim lim sq, repaint my room, refurnish my room, put a hi-fi system n turn my room into a mini club so i can partaayyee all nite long alone when im bored. YES YES AWESOME plan!! k when im done with exams i shall slowly go source things out!

great jacob is heading down to town n im stuck at home. awesome shits or waddd! RAAAHH.

i miss my bestfren!!! :( and this jokers too!!! :(i called vanessa love jus then n my goodness i miss like crazy. cause shes like the onli one who truely understands me n noe the reasons y i do certain things. we are sooooo similar in many ways jus tt (quote from her) im more hardcore. LOLS realli without her, i think its jus so unfun. i miss u so much baby!! COME BACK SOON!!! am counting down! 3 mths! (:

k ive got tuition in the morning n should realli sleep!! skinnyshit slept the whole day so no triple D!! hell cut plsss. anyways am proud of myself cause i took the plunge and took a gamble! eh gambling with your heart is the biggest stake okaayyy!! heeee. k nvm im not giving up yet! GO ME! =D

OH YES YES!! im here to say.. im NOT SKINNY OKAAAYYYY!!!! pictures are TOTALLY DECEIVING!!! so dun always believe wat u seee! in actual fact im a fat shit who eats like a cow!! realli realli!! aint lying! need to lose wat i ate tonite. cheebongzzzzz. SHIT i forgot ive gt tuition in the morning n i popped the herbal med!! UH OH!! NOT GOOD!

Baby you got me so torn between the 2...

NOT!

fall... falling... fallen...

dumdeedee dumdum ^^

B jus texted me n asked where i am. i thot he wanna ask me out but hes taking forever to reply. im hell cut plssss :(

oh oh u noe my dad is veri cute. everytime he wants to talk to me.. i will call me on my cellfone. n hes in the room.. im in the next room. -.- funnaayyyeeee

k random. BYE BYE! im gonna sleep since no one wants to date me out at this late hr!!!

k i edited the previous post with pics!! so scroll down down down!!

anyways ive been a pendulum recently. those whos been there for me these few days would noe clearly wat i mean. but i must say im soooo thankful for these sweetlets who nv fail to stay up n text me till wee hrs of the morning jus to make sure im okay. oh oh n late nites too!! =)

today sucked!! hate staying at home because im like some mutha fat shit cow hunting for food at home. tmr is starving day!

i need to go back to the skate shop at cine n get my boxers!! i left it there on sat nite cause i knew i was heading to se7en n rebel so i didnt wanna lug it with me n lose it along the way. smart move cause i would hav lost it tt nite seriously! though sat nite was kinda dramatic.. i did enjoy myself alot. the next time i ever do this will be wad!? 2 weeks from nw!! FML LA! major withdrawal syndrome plsssss!! sigh sigh :(

i miss.. i miss.. i miss.. YOU!! n i wanna see you.. you.. NOW NOW NOW!! :( so close.. but yet so far. like seriously. boy you really make me go crazy.. cause you're all i think about

so after disappearing a few days, i felt my life getting back on track. k not realli but like ive been spending time with people who make me dam happy n free. its like a cry of freedom (i told jacob tt last nite!) so a flashback to my week this week. but not many pictures cause i jus didnt wanna capture those moments n let the world to see. its best with words as its not so explicit and graphical esp during my crazy nites out. lols k im odd

tuesday
-class party with ms jain sad sad moments pls OMG
-love her to da coreeee! =)

in ethel twin's car((: like fun onli!!!! im super cite abt our reunion lunch with ms jain!! wheeehaa(:

wednesday
-skool as usual. then vivo to meet up with an old fren
-caught 'i love you beth cooper' n i found it pretty much lame n stupid.
-hanged around vivo, we got bored to we went to get amsterdam. DUMB CHOICE i tell u! lols
-talked abt our lives n all. its been such a long time since i felt relax and comfortable with someone. spilling all abt my life out
-came home n wanted to do something so stupid. but thankfully i didnt! lols i laughed at myself seriously when i woke up the nxt day

thursday
-wagged skool cause i couldnt get up
-walked around the hse aimlessly the whole day n tried to study

friday
-skool.. rain rain cats n dog. but me n ethel twin headed down to town
-major retail therapy n im super happy with my buys!! i swear me n ethel twin make the perfect shopping pair eevverrr! shes so darn patient with me n everyone noes i so annoying when it comes to shopping. taking forever to choose something. LOLS
-went to look for sam at blackjack at forum. chilled at macs while waiting for her to be done with work

our lil retail therapy day!! realli LOVE shopping with twin(: she da bommbbxxxxx times 100000!twin so cute riteeee! omg hw can u not love her!! =D -i flew down to douby to meet gabriel leng, alvin, philbert n derek. funni man those kids! lols
-took a train back home n met skinnyshit along the way. amsterdam-ed again! HAHAHAH! but it was dam fun
-2 people had chivas n blasting music. personal dj n we had the urge to go clubbing pls! lols

saturday
-met sam at cine, bought boxers from num n i cant wait for our sleepover when shes back! heehaww
-then i hanged around at the skate shop(me n sam's new hangout chillout spot!)
-walked to centerpoint with sam n tts where we bumped into jacob n bryan!! omg plsss. epic moment number 1 i tell u!
-studied at spinz with gab leng, till he had to leave
-met up with lendl, jason, jeffery n eddie. such funni kids
-bugis to chillout n L4D which left me screaming as usual n it was def an experience for me. my goodness.epic moment number 2
-didnt intend to go se7en but got suckered in as usual. LOLs
-got a text from jacob, so i flew down to rebel to save them. epic moment number 3!
-nursing 2 hell smashed kids n looking after them was dam funni! epic moment number 4!
sunday
-stuck at home studying
-yea im trying to learn hw to say NO to partying! LOLS

i wanted to post up a few pics but blogger wont allow it as its taking a mother fishing long time!! k nvm... will edit this post soon when pics can be uploaded! for nw... back to geog.

shouts: DO YOU KNOW I HAVE SUCH CUTE AND AWESOME FRENS!!? wheeehaaa(: gotta love long n late nites with them((: esp my 3 fav boys!! heeehawwww.

the DISAPPEARING ACT
on hiatus because i got some things to handle on my personal life. i will be back when im ready. but for now... im here to say... i LOVE my twin((: heehawww. as u can see we look nth alike but tts the point!! TOTAL OPPOSITES!! i swear we are connected in a dam weird way. like i hav been dam upset since saturday nite n shes been there for me. then today i was still upset... she got tummy ache. last week i was a veri angsty bitch n i was absent from skool on tues.. then i cried at home cause i was dam angry.. then she was in skool... so angry n gonna cry too!! HAHAH! shes realli awesome(:

if it werent for her since saturday nite till now, i swear i would die. of course not forgetting my other babies like rachel!! twin gave me an awesome sat nite though she died n i took care of her but we definitely will hav more nites like this esp our bday period!! OMG CANT WAIT! nw we are gonna motivate each other to study. i love u twin!!!

i sound happy but its bcause of my twin(: but there are some issues in my personal life i gotta sort out. so goodbye for nw. i will be back for sure!

im like super upset nw. something is tugging onto my heart. i havnt showered but i jus need to get this out of my chest.

i hav been feeling like shit since last week?! n ive been questioning myself y the fk am i like this? i havnt had the ability to cry, but finally today i did. i sat curled up on my bed with tears streaming down. then i thot 'u crazy is it!!! cry for wad?!' then it sunk in... the feeling of rejection is even worse than a break up. as stupid as it sounds.. but it applies to me dam significantly. even after my break up with B, i was fine. i guess i hav grown up n learnt how to deal with break ups quietly n it has become so easy to move on. but a rejection? i hav nv gone through one in my 4yrs of dating. this is the 1st ever time n its because i messed up. i guess u can call me freakzilla but i pretty much guess i was too eager to want to noe him more? idk. now my pride n my confidence are all demoralised. i feel like the shittest person on this fked up planet.

many people my age cant deal with a break up but can take rejection. but miss weirdo over here jus had to be the opposite. many say break ups are a bitch. but after this situation i got myself into... i can say tt rejection is an even bigger bitch. call it karma, call it 'shit happens' but i cant seem to let it go n idk y. k not say i realli liked tt guy. no doubt i was falling for him but idk. its affecting me so dam bloody much. FREAKZILLA alert plsss.

sometimes i feel so alone n helpless. as in i noe ive got my frens n all.. but nth beats tt special person when each time ur fone beeps, a text msg comes in, u see his name n u get all fuzzy and butterflies flying in ur tummy and u jus blush like some loser riteee!!? but i hav to say, im thankful for ethel twin n rachael baby who were there for me on tt day. bumping into an old fren made things all better too on saturday nite.

now im jus flooding myself with emo songs. trying to cry every last drop of tear out. u noe even 'sexy bitch' cant make me high anymore!! this is how upset i am plsss. urggg. FML!! major FML

It took 3 words to take me up to the heavens, but 1 to just send me falling down and stabbed in the heart.

Thursday 10th sept
-awesomenessstttttt day evaaaa(: we had soooo much fun! LOLS

Friday 11th sept

-after skool outing with ethel twin n donna(:

-chilled in town the whole dayyyyy. aimless but fun company(:in skool nw!! n im actually trying to study! LOL! wheehaa. awesome student. 3 pokerfaces kept me awake last nite but they dam cute((: ones a nocternal animal.. another had skool the next day but still happily talk to me.. the other one was booking into camp the next day.

my voice sounds like a man plsss. omg. n its been a week!! URGGG :( class party tmr. whopppeeeeddooo. (note: sarcasm pls) its gonna be dull. oh so dull cause of certain people around. pffttt... thankfully for ethel twin, donna n honghwee!! heeehawwww.

kk im sooo tired!! lack of sleep is killing me!! no more partying this weekend. jus gonna recuperate, hibernate n STUDY!!! yes yes AWESOME PLAN!