im like super upset nw. something is tugging onto my heart. i havnt showered but i jus need to get this out of my chest.

i hav been feeling like shit since last week?! n ive been questioning myself y the fk am i like this? i havnt had the ability to cry, but finally today i did. i sat curled up on my bed with tears streaming down. then i thot 'u crazy is it!!! cry for wad?!' then it sunk in... the feeling of rejection is even worse than a break up. as stupid as it sounds.. but it applies to me dam significantly. even after my break up with B, i was fine. i guess i hav grown up n learnt how to deal with break ups quietly n it has become so easy to move on. but a rejection? i hav nv gone through one in my 4yrs of dating. this is the 1st ever time n its because i messed up. i guess u can call me freakzilla but i pretty much guess i was too eager to want to noe him more? idk. now my pride n my confidence are all demoralised. i feel like the shittest person on this fked up planet.

many people my age cant deal with a break up but can take rejection. but miss weirdo over here jus had to be the opposite. many say break ups are a bitch. but after this situation i got myself into... i can say tt rejection is an even bigger bitch. call it karma, call it 'shit happens' but i cant seem to let it go n idk y. k not say i realli liked tt guy. no doubt i was falling for him but idk. its affecting me so dam bloody much. FREAKZILLA alert plsss.

sometimes i feel so alone n helpless. as in i noe ive got my frens n all.. but nth beats tt special person when each time ur fone beeps, a text msg comes in, u see his name n u get all fuzzy and butterflies flying in ur tummy and u jus blush like some loser riteee!!? but i hav to say, im thankful for ethel twin n rachael baby who were there for me on tt day. bumping into an old fren made things all better too on saturday nite.

now im jus flooding myself with emo songs. trying to cry every last drop of tear out. u noe even 'sexy bitch' cant make me high anymore!! this is how upset i am plsss. urggg. FML!! major FML

It took 3 words to take me up to the heavens, but 1 to just send me falling down and stabbed in the heart.