im 17 n still a minor so im entitled to act like a 5yr old crying for her mummy


(wordy post dedicated to my mummy)

psych mid term over.. nw to rush out my lab report which is due in 7 days n ive jus complteted writting my abstract n mug like mad for forensic mid term next tues! im gonna get my dam Distinction i tell u! cuz i can kiss my psych D goodbye thxs to the stupid lecturers! pfffttt n doing my research for my dam lab report is frustrating cuz my net is mad slow n the fking journal articles on my skool webbie is DAMMMM BIG FOLDERS!

(mother's day last yr in perth. where i made pancakes for breaky for mummy n baked caupcakes too!)

if uve been reading my twitter these few nites u would noe hw big of a cry baby i am n mummy's girl i am. yeppers mumsie has left for shanghai this morn. these last few nites hav been rough. it all started on tues nite when mummy suddenly came into my room while i was studying for psych n burst into tears n came to hug me saying she would miss me alot when shes away. it then hit me so hard tt this is the 1st time my mummy is gonna be away frm me! like all my 17 yrs we've nv been apart, she came to be wif me in perth!! i guess our perth stay together brought us ALOT closer. like it was onli both of us in the hse. i loved tv times wif her esp during winter! i would be sitting rite next to the heater in my betty boob purple flannel pjs n we would be snacking away like craaazzzyyyy cuz of the weather n watching tv together. no we dun talk much while we watch tv but its the company tt counts nt the communication. along the 2yrs plus yes we got into a few tussles. i guess we had no one to argue wif except each other so it sparked a few arguements n all. me being head strong nv give in. looking back i apologised to mummy n she said its wat daughters do. which i couldnt agree more. us kids are jus out to make lives like hell for our parents/do them proud. i guess nw i hav the balance of both.

so the last few nites were baddd. waking up wif puffy eyes n i resort to puting ice pack on my eyes jus to bring the puffiness down. at 1ish am i snuggled rite next to my mummy wif tears falling at occasional times n in her embrace watch tv together for the last few hrs be4 we had a 2hr sleep then woke up n headed to the airport at 6am. watching mummy together wif my uncle n his fam walk through the departure gates were tough. me being the baby in the fam n the closest to my mummy made me vulnerable in such situations. i hav MAJOR separation issues n i would jus wail for hrs. yea no joke! i held back every tear tt was wanting to burst through my eye sockets while i watched my mummy's back turn against me.

initially when mum told us abt her plan to shanghai i immediately thot of 1 word 'freedom'. but as the days drew nearer it made me realise hw much im so dependent on my mum n hw close we were. esp when i was younger being pushed in n out of operating theatres n wif my mum always by my side n staying at the hospital wif me. hw can i ever bear to let her go for my temporary joy of freedom. sigghh...the saying "if u love someone let them go" is jus totally BS i tell u! but wat comforted me the most abt her departure was tt she trusts me n my sis tt we would be fine on our own wif lil supervision. n tt she has entrusted my life wif sean. she trusts tt he would take care, guide, support n be there for me while shes away. wat can be greater than my mummy trusting my boyfren. also becuz he is older, more mature n has goals in life n she noes tt whenever im wif him i will be safe n she doesnt hav to worry.

so to my mummy... i love u so much. take care n im always here for n wif u even though we are far apart.

depression aside... me n bf celebrated our 7th mth together on sunday wif a sushi party at my place!!! (: yea me n my sis woke up early to make sushis for the boyss. tsskkk the things we do for our boyfrens! yepperss its been 7 great mths!! all the support n comfort we've given each other over the mths cannot be explained. esp recently wif my struggle wif skool, seperation issues frm my mummy n all.. sean has been there wif me comforting me n finding ways to cheer me up wif his stupid high pitchy psychotic laughs! hopefully he gets the car tonite so he can drive me to the dam library n borrow books on my stupid fked up lab report. pfffttt... realli cant wait for sat though!! reunion wif the zirca fam like FINAALLLLYYY!! n we're bringing our dogs!! WHOOOO =D ive missed my babies for too long!! busy wif skool, a levels, exams, travelling, bic races, army n wat nt! pffttt...

am off to nap n hopefully wake up to find bf in my hse! heh x)