im 17 n still a minor so im entitled to act like a 5yr old crying for her mummy


(wordy post dedicated to my mummy)

psych mid term over.. nw to rush out my lab report which is due in 7 days n ive jus complteted writting my abstract n mug like mad for forensic mid term next tues! im gonna get my dam Distinction i tell u! cuz i can kiss my psych D goodbye thxs to the stupid lecturers! pfffttt n doing my research for my dam lab report is frustrating cuz my net is mad slow n the fking journal articles on my skool webbie is DAMMMM BIG FOLDERS!

(mother's day last yr in perth. where i made pancakes for breaky for mummy n baked caupcakes too!)

if uve been reading my twitter these few nites u would noe hw big of a cry baby i am n mummy's girl i am. yeppers mumsie has left for shanghai this morn. these last few nites hav been rough. it all started on tues nite when mummy suddenly came into my room while i was studying for psych n burst into tears n came to hug me saying she would miss me alot when shes away. it then hit me so hard tt this is the 1st time my mummy is gonna be away frm me! like all my 17 yrs we've nv been apart, she came to be wif me in perth!! i guess our perth stay together brought us ALOT closer. like it was onli both of us in the hse. i loved tv times wif her esp during winter! i would be sitting rite next to the heater in my betty boob purple flannel pjs n we would be snacking away like craaazzzyyyy cuz of the weather n watching tv together. no we dun talk much while we watch tv but its the company tt counts nt the communication. along the 2yrs plus yes we got into a few tussles. i guess we had no one to argue wif except each other so it sparked a few arguements n all. me being head strong nv give in. looking back i apologised to mummy n she said its wat daughters do. which i couldnt agree more. us kids are jus out to make lives like hell for our parents/do them proud. i guess nw i hav the balance of both.

so the last few nites were baddd. waking up wif puffy eyes n i resort to puting ice pack on my eyes jus to bring the puffiness down. at 1ish am i snuggled rite next to my mummy wif tears falling at occasional times n in her embrace watch tv together for the last few hrs be4 we had a 2hr sleep then woke up n headed to the airport at 6am. watching mummy together wif my uncle n his fam walk through the departure gates were tough. me being the baby in the fam n the closest to my mummy made me vulnerable in such situations. i hav MAJOR separation issues n i would jus wail for hrs. yea no joke! i held back every tear tt was wanting to burst through my eye sockets while i watched my mummy's back turn against me.

initially when mum told us abt her plan to shanghai i immediately thot of 1 word 'freedom'. but as the days drew nearer it made me realise hw much im so dependent on my mum n hw close we were. esp when i was younger being pushed in n out of operating theatres n wif my mum always by my side n staying at the hospital wif me. hw can i ever bear to let her go for my temporary joy of freedom. sigghh...the saying "if u love someone let them go" is jus totally BS i tell u! but wat comforted me the most abt her departure was tt she trusts me n my sis tt we would be fine on our own wif lil supervision. n tt she has entrusted my life wif sean. she trusts tt he would take care, guide, support n be there for me while shes away. wat can be greater than my mummy trusting my boyfren. also becuz he is older, more mature n has goals in life n she noes tt whenever im wif him i will be safe n she doesnt hav to worry.

so to my mummy... i love u so much. take care n im always here for n wif u even though we are far apart.

depression aside... me n bf celebrated our 7th mth together on sunday wif a sushi party at my place!!! (: yea me n my sis woke up early to make sushis for the boyss. tsskkk the things we do for our boyfrens! yepperss its been 7 great mths!! all the support n comfort we've given each other over the mths cannot be explained. esp recently wif my struggle wif skool, seperation issues frm my mummy n all.. sean has been there wif me comforting me n finding ways to cheer me up wif his stupid high pitchy psychotic laughs! hopefully he gets the car tonite so he can drive me to the dam library n borrow books on my stupid fked up lab report. pfffttt... realli cant wait for sat though!! reunion wif the zirca fam like FINAALLLLYYY!! n we're bringing our dogs!! WHOOOO =D ive missed my babies for too long!! busy wif skool, a levels, exams, travelling, bic races, army n wat nt! pffttt...

am off to nap n hopefully wake up to find bf in my hse! heh x)

dear body... im sorri but i dont love you...

anyways mon n tues was well spent wif bf(: we had so much fun! pigging out mostly! LOL i was so depressed after i stuffed my face wif popcorn n reese i decided to do push up, crunches n jumping jacks okaayy!! then becuz of tt i vomitted all my shit out jus like tt! HAHA funnaayyee

u noe wat makes me so upset? tt asian girls are sooooo small size whereas im nt! yea im short but nt skinny short. n wat makes it worse is tt every single girl i noe n i see are all weight crazy people! (yea me included!) i mean idk y us asian girls emphasise so much abt our weight. always comparing wif other skinner prettier girls to "wanna look like TAT". think ok do u ever see a fat (k maybe nt fat but nt skinny) girl on the front cover of our asian magazines!!!? NO RITE!!! whereas in aussie... u see all shapes n sizes of girls on the front cover n they LOVE their body size. i mean hello!!? its us asians who bring so much emphasis abt skinny bods. i wish i can say i love my body. sadly i dun. when i was younger i was a bag of bones (literally) but nt im a huffalump! i guess tts y i detest my body even more nw. cuz i WAS ONCE stick thin n nw.. pfftt DISAPPOINTMENT! but realli y cant us asian girls jus love ourselves? im struggling to ans tt question myself too.

im suppose to be studying but somehw i started to get lazy. sigghh wats happening to my goals n aims in life?!!!! idk man... i wish i had a photographic memory. tt way studying would be easier n much more fun!!!

anyways last thurs bf DROVE to my place!!! whoooooo =D he finally converted his aussie license n he had his dad's car!!!! so we drove to admiralty mrt station (yes its dam near but i managed to "lure" him into his car n drive me!!! heh) then along the way picked mumsie up n we drove home(: he stayed for dinz then we decided to drive over to kerry baby's hse wif babyboy((: stayed there for a while n she went crazy over mochi! we had some good fun((: missed my babygirl sooooo much!

k so ive changed my hairstyle!!! tues went to colour/highlight/treatment n cut my hair!! nw i hav bangs!!! idk wat brown base but its copper red streaks!!!

so wed is my psych test n i cant seem to rmb shit!! WHY LIKE THIS!!!! sigghh my poor pea brain! hokay off to try to study nw!! BYEEE

byebye ben
so i FINALLY took my cam out after sooooooooooooooooooooo long! becuz skool started n i rarely go out. so finally me n bf went out yesterday n went on a eating feast!!! (yea so much for losing weight!) n i gained back wat i lost over 2 days in 1 day!! SIGHHHH k but my tumtum was HAPPY!! swimming wif fish n chips n my CRAVING of the mth: grilled ham n cheese sandwich in foccasia bread!! WHOOOO HAPPY SHITTSSS

k but despite but fattyness yesterday... my collar bones were more distinct then evveerr!! YAY! k but i think today gone already since i ate like a cowwww!

a wrap up of wat me n bf did yest!
-airport for fish n co.. then sent ben off back to aussieland!!
-gloria jeans where i did a lil on my forensic. borrrriinnnnggggg
-decided to go bugis cuz we havnt been there in a while (tts the 1st place we ever met btw!!)
-shisha n stoned till the sun set
-decided to go to 1 of the shops at haji cuz i finally found the rainbow maxi dress after a loooonngggg time! bf talked me into buying it! wheeee x) oh n i almost bought another pair of wedges but didnt cuz he stopped me! haha might want to get tt pair soon!
-then we left for dinz at empire state for my sandwich!! WHOOOOO =D
-n home we weennnttt
-it seemed like we didnt do much but gosh we were beat!!

so jus a few pics cuz we took SOOOOOO many yest!! yea i spammed cuz its been a while we took pics together!!! took realli nice ones yest(:

k decided to share wif yall some points on r/s. ps its frm my psych textbook!! LOL

3 factors tt contribute to an ongg r/s:

1. personal dedication (positive attraction to a particular partner n r/s)
2. moral commitment (a sense of obligation, religious duty or social responsibility as controlled by a person's values n moral principles)
3. constraint commitment (factors tt make it costly to leave a r/s such as lack of attractive alternatives n various social, financial, legal investments in the r/s)

k enough nonsense.. i noe the 3 factors are abit profound? LOL but u get wat it says la rite!!!!

back to studying... saturdays are my sad depressing alone day where i study my butt off cuz bf is marching in ndp. pfftt...

oh n as i like to EMPHASISE!!! i CANT read CHINESE!!!! so pls stop commenting in chinese cuz its pointless since i cant read!

k BYE

hectic week
i blog when im bored.. when i feel i did something interesting.. to rant n let off some steam. today is to let off some steam. k but things are ok nw(: but still i think its time for me to blog abt my life again.

so recently my life took a turn on its own. n if ur following my twitter u would noe. i constantly tweet abt the ups n downs. sometimes i feel like im bipolar/schzophrenic but im nt okaayy! somehw things jus started falling apart. shant go into details but basically i could hav collapsed. but wif the love n support frm the people who love me.. im holding up quite well. nt to mention names in case i miss out any but yall noe who u are. my skool mates may nt noe wat went wrong.. but their constant jokes n making fun of me for being the "xiao mei mei" among all of us, babying me alot jus helped me so much. lifted up my spirits. these bunch of frens (mainly guys) hav subconsciously supported me n wif them made me gg to skool a more enjoyable trip everyday. nt forgetting sean who has been there for me, listening n lending me his shoulders jus made it all seem better. though we too hav our ups n downs.. im glad we always manage to calmly settle everything between each other.

so aside frm all this.. my life is basically revolving around skool. i plan my days everyday on wat i need to study n wkends are crammed wif work. so depressing but i hav no choice. realli am aiming hard to get my honors cuz it is veri prestigious n would def help wif application of jobs/salary in the future when i enter the work force. so basicaly ive pretty much decided where n i wanna work n wat i wanna do(: quite excited realli to get all my education out of the way n do "big grown up stuff"

anyways as yall noe i rarely blog nw. so if u want constant 24/7 updates abt my life follow me on twitter: www.twitter.com/foeshitzme trust me i NEVER go wifout a day of tweeting. my life revolves around it too!! like i feel so dysfunctional n crazy wifout tweeting for 1 day! LOL n i jus restored my formspring: http://formspring.me/foeshitzme n there u can ask me anything abt me, my life or watsoever. n as i mentioned in my previous post.. thxs for the comments but i rarely check or dun even reply them cuz its hard replying via tt thing. so any comments go ahead n post it up on my formspring k!! cheerzzzz(: oh n fofo updates feel free to add me up on facebook!

yall hav a gd week... advice for the wk: hang in there if ur exhausted wif ur life or gg through rough patches nw.. cuz after a stormy weather the clear blue skies n the sun will shine upon u again(:

currently at the bf's crib((:

every sunday is our lazy day together as a fam wif mochi boy too! chilling n being lazy being couch potatos! today we had macs for lunchhh!! yumyum((: i realli LOVE sundays wif bf n monster furball.

k i noe ive been missing frm my lil space... but but ive been lazzyyyyy. as usual! n we are watching hannah montana nw!! (: n hav been busy wif skool. decided to realli study hard this sem

gonna be camping here till 10 tonite... supper wif bf n the guyssssssss. which means im gg home late tonite n skool is at 9 tmr.. yeppersss

k shit my this post is dam borrrinnngggggg. nth to realli blog abt these days but skool, mochi boy, bf n i. simple simple life n ive stopped partying. decided to onli party on hols onli!

ok byeeeee!!! oh n thxs for all the comments. keep them coming in(: n i still cant read chinese. HAHAHAHA

sorri im jus a bitch..


i hav rarely or rather stopped bitching abt people via my blog for a while already. but this time i realli cant help it. n i noe tt person will be reading this.

k 1stly its MY fking choice if i wanna accept/deny or nt even respond to ur fb request. n excuse me say wat im so into such internet portals n i check it everyday?! obviously u hav no fking rite to say tt abt me since i dun even fking talk to u anymore n ive changed. i no longer glue myself to the net anymore since im more busy wif UNI nw n hanging out wif frens n my bf. i mean frm the min. blog entries nw cant u tell? like i realli cant stand when people say things they THINK they noe me but sorri u DONT!!!

2ndly.. wat meet for coffee? havnt i made it dam clear to u like mths ago i no longer wat anything to do wif u? wat are u so "desperate" to wanna try n be frens again? ur 1 person i can jus NO longer be frens wif anymore. n no i dun feel upset abt it. its nt like i havnt let go or wat shit. jus tt i find u so... ARRGGGHHHH (no word to describe) n i jus can no longer hav a frenship wif u let alone meet u face-to-face for coffee. my reply "raincheck" (taken advice frm isk! LOL) tt im indirectly saying im nt interested.

so idk wats ur deal!! like y do u wat so badly to be part of my life again? cuz realli i do nt give a beezwax. i normally would brush such things aside n nt bother replying u or watsoever but ive come to a point where i can no longer take all this anymore. like which part of ''fk off'' do u nt understand? we (bf n i) dun wish ur presence to be part of our lives spankssss

yea whoever who is reading this wanna call me a bitch go ahead. cuz i dun realli care either but this is jus wat i want to say.

on a happier note... bf is coming over for dinz later!! the furball monster has been living wif me for the past 5days n gosh hes CRAZZZYYY! i started skool last wk n im like stressing out already!!? i NEED my honors soooooo badly!!! which means i gotta work EXTRA HARD!!! when i turn 21.. i will either intern for a yr.. then fly over to melbourne n complete my masters there. am dam motivated plsss.

k i jus lied in my last sentence. im INSPIRED rather but its a fri n ive got no skool on fri but i havnt studied!!? LOL blame my nose or the weather but im lazzyy but yet i noe ive got sooooo much to do!! grrr.. HATE MY BRAIN!

oh last nite had an impromptu dinz n milkshake nite wif bf, ben, clement, matthew, winston n justin. simple nite but i always hav fun wif bf n his frens((: sad tt quite a few of them are leaving to abroad to study. but oh wells.. part n parcel of life! in like 4 yrs time will be me n bf's turn((:

shall end wif 2 pics during my trip to bkk like 3 wks ago...

oh n idk y i keep getting comments in chinese. sorri to say tt i cant read chinese AT ALL!! (yea im a failure as a chinese but cant help it okaayyy i lived in aus for 3yrs!!) so if yall dun mind... pls comment in english. cheerzzz (:

i noe ive abandoned my blog!! but ive jus become such a lazy potato to blog abt anything. dun get me wrong my life aint mundane or watsoever. esp during hols. but im lazy? HAHAHAk recap on wat i did over the hols

-movie dates wif bf((: caught toys story 3, shes out of my league, karate kid n idk wat already! but basically we've watched all the latest ones!

-sleep... sleep n more sleep

-bkk trip wif mumsie n sis for 4 days was da bommmbbbzz! i shopped till i dropped tt my cupboard has NO SPACE AT ALL!!!! so ima do a selling post REAL SOON!! keep a look out k!! (: SPANKS!

so yepperss! well sem 2 for uni has begun for me. n im even more stressed out. wanted to study today but am sick. so meehhh... stress cuz i realli need to achieve 4 distinctions for all my 4 subs this sem!! well at least 2 Ds n 2 credits then! am gonna push hard to get into honors. but plans are still melborne after i finish 3 yrs over here. but nw mumsie wants me to go london? hmmm.. the distance jus puts me off. plus its a total diff system frm aussie. then theres my dad who wants me to go nus. yea i wish!!! LOL the day i get into nus is the day pigs fly!! plus its impossible for me to go back to the sg system already eversince i adopted the aussie system like 3yrs ago? so naaahhhh

jus on thurs me n bf celebrated our 6th mth together(: things hav obviously been good. though a few fights here n there.. nth has changed wif both of us(: the best times are when we tickle each other n laugh till we fall on the floor. LOL as wat he says "u dun start a war u cant finish!!" hes a cutesie realli(: yest was Eclispe wif bf n nandos dinz wif karan n luke(: enjoyed eclipse cuz of TY's HOT ASS BOD!! =D n i felt the fight scene was GOOOODDD!

okay dokes! off i go to sunset grill for dinz wif mumsie, sis n nick. becuz of bf's ndp rehearsal he cant join us :( yea hes marching for ndp!!!! which means i hav to go this yr to support bf((: n shall end off wif a pic of bf n i when we met shingles boy n kellyn 1 day for hk cafe(:

classic face i tell u!! dun u think he looks like a chipmunk? HEEHEE! LOVE U!